An American overseas on September 11.

It was difficult not being in the United States after 9/11.  I didn't know where my friends were, the telephone system was inundated, and the internet wasn't yet grown-up enough.  It wasn't until days later that I learned all of my friends were safe.

Then I experienced something weird.  There was a delay in dealing with it.  I wasn't immediately affected by the trauma.  I was in Suriname at the time, and although there were problems, I wasn't in DC watching the smoke come out of the Pentagon.  It wasn't until I came back home the next summer before transferring to London that I had to deal with the issue.  Things had changed, and everyone else had dealt with it.  I was still going through a bit of shock.  The road to the Pentagon was being re-directed?  The flights from Washington National still did the weird flying down the Potomac, but why do they threaten to throw you in jail if you get up during the first 10 minutes of your flight from Washington, DC  What's the deal with the helicopters flying overhead all the time?  And why were there Hummers parked with surface to air missiles near the roads?

I had left one country and arrived back in what appeared to be a totally new one.  My girlfriend had walked me to the gate when I left for Suriname.  However that privilege, like the girlfriend, were long gone.  It was almost a Rip van Winkle effect.  I was gone for 2 years and so much had changed.  While my friends and family had dealt with it, I was still going through the trauma 10 months later.

You see, I think being a Foreign Service officer is difficult in this regards.  I work for the US Government, and I believe I'm still pretty darn red-blooded American.  However, when I live overseas, I feel there is now a barrier.  Lives go on, and while I remember things as before, things can change.  This comes into sharp focus when there is a major disaster or national trauma.  I was deeply saddened by it, but it really didn't come into sharp focus until I came back to the states.  This may be just my thoughts, but I wonder if anyone else has had the same experience. 

However, I do remember praying for those lost either during the crash, or afterwords trying to help others.  May this never happen again to anyone.